scarred

so i have a scar the size of a caesarean section.

i also have a mental scar slightly larger than the above.

two scars, months apart, from different sources, for different reasons.

one physical, one mental.

one from a surgeon, one from a loved one.

thankfully, the cause of the latter did not result in another physical scar of the year.

are there any more, 2009?

on the table again

the operation table, that is.

this time is a tad scarier than the last.

15 may 2009.

wow

i never knew you were such a superficial person. really, all that matters is just the facade, isn't it? i'm a little disappointed in you, i must say. even though i'm not part of the picture, nor do i want to be anymore. you asked for advice, and i gave it. i gave it objectively.

and i meant it when i wished you all the best.

meh

i don't need a man who behaves like my boyfriend only when no one else is around.

tofu

once again, i have to remind myself that i am not made of tofu.

ahem

*waves at the two people who are still checking this space everyday*

:D

panic

she is dead. just like that. from the time she'd found out till the last breath she'd taken, was only a span of three months.

three short months.

i have been a silly girl. i cannot be skipping my follow-ups. i cannot convince myself that i am fine. i cannot run away anymore.

*slaps self*

come on. pick your guts off the floor. you're not made of tofu.

...

she was so beautiful. i didn't know her well, but she was so beautiful.

perhaps

i am a little warped.

when it rains

it fucking pours.

i spent all of last night fighting off a very suave, very dashing, very cute playboy. one other dude was insisting on sending me home (which i wriggled out of) and some other people have popped out of nowhere suddenly to make contact.

my world is a little weird right now. i kinda just feel like hiding in my safe corner, where i've been happily sitting for awhile. all this attention is a little overwhelming.

a spanner

in the works?